Entry: When Leaving it To Fate... March 9, 2007

Last night, I met up with an ex colleague of mine. She was having a few drinks with her client, and her client and me got along very well indeed. The client was older than us, and happily married, eventhough it was an arranged marriage.

The conversation got deep, especially when he said the key to a succesful marriage is love. Most of the time, lust rules over love. And when the lust is no longer there, then the marriage breaks down, leading to divorce.

Indeed, no amount of "kursus kahwin" and counseling can help to save marriages that were built on lust, and not love. But do people learn from it? And here, I blame the mentality of our own people...

When a relationship, or marriage breaks down, they always say "sudah tiada jodoh" or in English, it was not meant to be. It's okay to say that, but one should take the effort to learn from it. Why did it fail? You got to be truthful to yourself, and ask whether you wanted your partner (or rather ex-partner) for love, or lust? Most of the time, they just leave it as it is. And then go looking for others.

Malaysia's divorce rate is very high. Especially among the Malay population. And I do wonder if people realise that their marriage was built on lust, or on love....


March 12, 2007   01:08 PM PDT
I think some of them may not know the difference between love and lust and often mistaken the lust for love. That's the problem.

But it also boils down to your perception of marriage itself, why they enter the institution. Is it just to "menghalalkan perhubungan"? Do they know what is expected of them when they enter the institution?

Also a major point esp to Muslims are what is their life's purpose?
In entering a marriage, you are already completing half of your religion. If they fully realize this, they would not be so nonchalant about getting out of the marriage. That is if they put their life's purpose is to worship Allah.

Wallahu a'lam.

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